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Hi, new stuff is coming, a new story for accuracy. It speaks of a certain Mark, a very intelligent high school student Premoli. The story is set in un'impegativa school week, when the odious history professor assigns a lot of pages to study. In class, everyone is desperate for two main reasons


1) Questions of history are usually of torture.
2) That's a particularly busy week, and time and the desire to study history there am.

are all less than a desperate, or our brand, not sure of being called to the scaffold because of its very high rating in history. His school is quiet but troubled by his teammates, who pray to him to volunteer. Obviously he would not have problems, the question to him would be just as well, but ... [Spoiler Cut]

response (excluding 42) in the story!

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's Universal: The Universal

B reve guide to the that was said on that sad occasion:

Sidora PM: "The Terrans are accused of aggravated idiotic nonsense, for which the Criminal Code provides for the immediate elimination Sidora. How do you excuse? "

Judge of Defense:" I call to witness the earth's Arthur Dent. "

Arturo sat waiting for the oath, which was not made. And shouted for it. So bring a book of recipes and whatever made him swear on that.

Judge of Defense: "It 's true or not true that you land you have made great innovations at the global level in recent years? Is this not sign of intelligence? "

The answer could be crucial, too bad to ask the question the judge it took him about 3 hours sidoriane, so that Arthur went to sleep. Which was a shame because we missed an immediate court ruling. Not that he would welcome, of course (also because it meant that we immediately began to formulate sidoriana 1 hour).

D fter the irrevocable sentence of destruction of his race, Arthur Dent decided to escape somehow, and thought well of him on board a sea horse sitting quietly in the front rows of the court , which looks a bit ' belonged to the species that turned out to be the smartest on the planet and who could travel in space. He was riding in the absence of oxygen, but the horse got tired of being ridden by a being so stupid, and disarcionò. So the last person able to build ornamental ax was dispersed in space, and he was never heard anything except that the horse had left the professed himself innocent, but was found guilty of undue abandonment of an incapable and sentenced to 15 years in prison sidoriani (almost a terrestrial life imprisonment).

I the total annihilation of all forms living and not, on the wretched planet Earth, in spite dell'altisonante sentence, was not anything spectacular. Nothing within the Black Death and so on. etc.. , Just a click of a button inside the control room of the ship's Queik, and the Earth was purged by humans. Only two creatures were alive, the famous Harvester el'Highlander Macloo Connel, because immortal.

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Chapter V: Chapter IV

B reve guide to Ert Queik humans:

"Humans, the second most intelligent species on the 3rd planet of the star-Sun AG, cube-F-2G H4, are unworthy of living species. They have bizarre features, which I witnessed. They love to perform essential functions in smelly toilets, or make the urine more remote wilderness in the alleys of their road system.
They also have a morbid obsession with security, so that they protect against special guards oval structures in which some people chase each other, in a very stupid and dangerous, a ball, while others, more foolish, the inciting of violence steps on which they are standing. Out of these structures the human race oval in metal boxes, trying to avoid or centered in full. These boxes can be filled with old, now a burden to society, scarrozza around to waste time.

Amano turn stupid questions and useless, and do not speak a common global language. Collect items of dubious value among whom are: statue of marmots, axes ornamental, very bulky, empty desks, and computers discarded by us 10 years ago (I leave the reader to understand how long it means). They also have a perverse abomination to the food, in fact I keep at home a lot more widely than they consume daily, as per studies conducted by us humans. Not satisfied, shall bear the stereotypical image of people having fun on almost all goods of comfort they have.
are very technologically backward, the doors do not open alone. They love to paint the streets with decorations pitiful. Walking down the street you can see half naked people in rectangles contained iron, which means that torture people less fortunate than treating them as hangers!

In almost every building you can see a person, always the same, hanging on a cross, another sign that humans love violence. They love to travel in groups, trying to imitate the birds through various ferrame color. "

I the Great Horned Director began to read, and ended after 12 hours Sidoriane (several Earth days), as it could cross the line 10 that he forgot everything. "Excellent guide Ert" he shouted, and then pounded his fist on his desk, making a jump to do this within 20 km around. "We present it directly to the Great Irrevocable et et et The greater the previous adjectives are completely useless Sidoriana Court Martial." And he did. On this occasion, to represent all land there was only Arturo (series, we are in good hands).

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' s Universal: Chapter III

C dares made in the body of Arturo Queik all this time?

P remettiamo who did not want to do anything, but Dinodenso Ensonido and urged him to take a sightseeing tour on the planet Luidiria. And so Arthur could see the features Balloons Monogonfianti (which inflate once) with which they moved Luidiriani; Ponderanti the Bridges (which weighs carefully who to pass, when, why and how) by which the lucky few through the vast Luidiriensi seas, the Anglo-Saxon Stones (the masters in the use of the adjective Saxon) who taught the ancient Saxon people who wanted (ie none); Wobble Boat, means of transport now hated because very unsafe to cross the seas previously known (which not Arturo try to prevent and end up in a water accordingly), and flagship technology Luidiriana travel, spring mattresses Sgarbazzanti, famous throughout the world as the only life (artificial) capable of sgarbazzare, a verb that can not translate as no land has ever seen a mattress Sgarbazzante and returned to tell the tale. Arturo was just admiring the sublime sgarbazzare a herd of mattresses on the ship when it was beamed to Ert, to his chagrin. The two identities were exchanged again, much to the delight of both.

E rt Queik headed his urinal, but when he arrived, it was shut, a sign that someone was using. He expressed an opinion: "May the force be with you when you're in a urinal." He waited a bit ', then shell and wait and then decided to speak with a vase of flowers. "Vase, how about talking to me, hey vessel. Pot, what do you think of the time? Hey pot! Jar? There you jar? "After twenty minutes Ert was repeating the same old story, the vase desperately tried to commit suicide, but failed, because the vessel.

E rt Queik looking out the panoramic window of his spaceship to the planet Luidiria or Luidirion, where there was a Great Horned Director. Premise that the name is not due to any betrayal by his wife, but the enormous pair of horns that sprouted from his head, about the size of a balloon. Director of the Universal and he was to select the best items to include., He had always wanted to visit Earth, he loved the volcanoes of what humans call the Land of Ice (Iceland), and the ice of what humans call the earth Fuego (Southern Argentina): she loved all of the Earth, now wanted only to know its inhabitants. Ert Queik offer him his account was to take stock of the situation human condition and decide on their future, that is, whether they could continue to live on their planet or not, besides being able to include his article on the Universal. "Good morning Chief" debuted Ert. "I offer my most sincere greetings and also my guide about the inhabitants of the indigenous people of this planet called Earth, but we call Marino 3-AG-H4.

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's Universal: Chapter II

U nce over the exchange of identity, the new Arthur, or rather, the old Ert, left the tunnel in space and found himself covered with improvised a substance brown smelly. It was just out of the water of Arturo, who had pulled the water before being kidnapped. Not knowing anything about the ground, pulled out his notebook to record notes he wrote in Sidor full: "Humans love to their toilets are smelly, but I'm not entirely sure." After leaving the bathroom of his store identity and when he entered the exhibition area of \u200b\u200bthe store, was stunned and horrified at the same time, so he pulled out his notebook and wrote: "Humans like to collect large amounts of junk almost useless." He was about to leave the shop when crashed against the door. Accustomed to the doors of his spaceship that opened automatically, did not take into account the fact that this could, indeed should, be opened by hand, then Riestra his sheet of notes and frowning, he wrote again: "Humans are very backward! The doors do not open by themselves! "Once outside the store he walked on the sidewalk, he decided to leave out the many pictures hanging on the poles gray, the color stripes in the streets and walls, but not even half closed eye when a coach to two floors, with a horde of pensioners on holiday over, struck him at full speed. Obviously he went out without damage from the impact, but was thrown twenty yards further on. The crowd asked him how he was, but he did not answer, and merely take notice.

" A travel hand in metal boxes, collect you upon when they are on board, or fun to dodge and utter stupid questions, for example, after having impacted against a very tall and a little red box off, then after having done a very long flight but little high, you wonder if you've done wrong. Of course not, damn you! Of course for me if there were any human application would not make sense anyway, because the answer would be yes. ". He stood, surrounded by the crowd that made him questions, and departed, leaving more than 100 wide-open eyes staring at him Air dumb.

D fter half an hour's walk, he saw an immense oval structure, we came in, but was stopped by guards. He took notes on the event as well. Get away from the men in uniform, he decided to materialize in the tree, and when he saw inside the men who ran after a ball and of course also took notes on what.

Click to continue.

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' s Universal: Chapter I

S idorin is an uninhabited planet, whose atmosphere makes it impossible to live there. The sidoriani these are only for posterity, because no has ever gone on to be known Sidorin. They like to assume that this was their origin. The sidoriani beings are covered with a purple stupid yellow film, which gets thinner with age. They know that speaking a language with any of the cube to be F-2G-H4 or a portion of the universe including the solar system and some other star. They feed on dust Sidorin film, the only material that can be found everywhere.

I Sidoriani are famous for their various industries, including "Mechanical Zoem, creators of art objects that have made them lazy, the" Pelican Publishing House, which produces juice Sidorin synthetic film, and "The Universal", the collector of the wisdom of the universe.

sidoriani I'm self-centered, extended, and write in Sidor, which differs from the simple to the presence of more specific words and longer, making it more difficult linguistic contamination.

Ert Quiek was one of the drafters of the universal about 8.3 meters high sidoriani equivalent to just under 2 meters land. Was about 20 years and loved sidoriani talk to non-living beings.

That Ert Queik expected his new identity comfortably seated in a chair in the bridge of his ship. Suddenly the pocket door designer "Tools for Mechanical Industries Zoem Mechanics," announced the arrival of a person.

N she entered the room the perfect model dell'idiota full, Arthur Dent, formerly abducted from his peaceful little house in the East End of London; accompanied by two mechanics of the ship, which also performs the duties of cooks, policemen and sterilization of forks: Ensonido and Dinodenso. Arthur opened his mouth to ask something, but now Ert interrupted him, and began one of his long speeches. Premise that a speech delivered by Mr. Queik sidoriane lasts an average of 8 hours, or about 4 days in human, for that at the end there is usually a listener bruised, resulting from self-inflicted injury by blunt object to stun. That said, Ert started to talk. After 7 hours and 57 minutes, Arthur was trying to kill himself to escape the remaining sidoriani minutes remaining. Until now, the speaker had talked nonsense about his being with the ability to be metabolism faster the universe, the beauty of the urinal, and other topics that they would rest the life of a swarm of flies on a planet of creatures constipated interesting. In those three minutes he spoke at last because of his abduction. "The master Of this ship ..." and start two minutes of intense rant about the ship and the functionality of this toilet paper in it "... has decided to monitor the human life, but not to create disturbances on human psychology, what we see so far very fragile, has decided to share our identity so that I can get off the planet you call earth and take notes on human life. In a few seconds (for the reader: about 5 or 6 minutes) will exchange identities. I warn you, I'm a guy with fast metabolism and I ate until recently, so keep close to my Vespasian super-equipped, but not too dirty. "

D pound this the two were placed in two capsules connected to two huge console and databases. Ensonido said computer board to initiate the exchange and catapult the new Arthur, that is, Ert, shop in ornamental axes of Dent through the water. Arthur was meanwhile was turning into Ert, and while the various antennas sticking out asked a few questions for those outside, begged them not to hurt them and rant about paying attention to the platypus figurines painted by hand in his shop. Half an hour later the door opened cyber cube, and he was confronted and Ensonido Dinodenso. He asked them if they got word the recommendations and petitions that he had done, but they said that the cyber cubicle was soundproofed. There was a pause of several seconds, then the new Ert, or rather, the former Arthur, was able to understand that he had spoken at all.

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soon with "The Universal"

Hello, we have finished posting the third story. Until now we have written an origami became a male because of personal taste, somewhat macabre, a mysterious entity, the poor misfortune of two computers, and the trafficking of drugs, weapons and so on and so forth, went to empty thanks to our friend Tyson Goor. And now? We decided to dive in science fiction. The new story will be titled "Universal", the theme is a mistaken identity of the man most insipid of the planet Earth and a member of an alien fleet ricognitrice on our planet. This story is also written to give advice, which will then be added in the section. So, what will happen to our planet after the careful analysis and intelligent reconnaissance alien in the guise of human stupidest on earth? What do you think the aliens man of modern technology? And the wonders of the world? What are the advantages of mistaken identity? You'll find out soon ...

conclude with a quote from "Marvin" ( click to see who is ) that has not failed to forget to leave me puzzled

"That girl is one of the forms of organic life less obtusely unintelligent I've ever had the displeasure of not being able to avoid knowing . "(Marvin - Life, the Universe and Everything-)

PS: He who understands is a genius.

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Fight the power: Chapter Fight the power

I policemen who were on the sidelines until then called an ambulance, emergency-coded maximum. The policeman seriously injured was not even taken to hospital, but was operated on site for the removal of a bullet from the femoral vein, the policeman was stunned kept under observation for notification of any brain damage. As for Tyson, was brought up to the nearest hospital. In this mission he had lost virtually all of its arsenal. Gardelli spent a month in rehab, getting the post of quaestor replace Girardi, who was sentenced to 39 years imprisonment for criminal association can not be reduced, and various other crimes.

N she town near Ragusa, 60 people were arrested for conspiracy of silence. Some were imprisoned, others were given house arrest. The camera living was not even arrested. The bartender was pardoned by Tyson, who said he had worked with him.

L to life in the small village had been irretrievably shattered, and the scandal caused by this incident served as a topic of discussion in bars for a long time. Tyson and the police were awarded a medal for bravery, and the new Rambo was offered the post of Superintendent of SWAT operations in Chicago, but he declined the offer and decided to join the Anti-Mafia Investigative Directorate, tiring after a few years and returning to the for the U.S. military.

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VIII: Chapter VII

E uncle shot and the target, hidden from the van, fell to the ground. "Well," thought "is now a contest between the two of us alone ..." he walked slowly towards the last piles of crates and saw him still standing: she no longer appeared Terminator, but a desperate child. She saw him senseless gestures are looking for something, so walked around a couple of batteries and put her in front of him. The other did not even looked at him, but he still desperately to ruminate on the ground "will a trap or has received a shock of some kind? "he thought, then discard the first opportunity and ran up to get bent, and acted with deadly anger. The jumped and landed a knee to the abdomen causing him to fall prone. Then he put his foot on the throat and pointed the gun at his head: "Say hello to the world, Rambo, why not see him ever again" Only then Tyson had accidentally unearthed by the shock causative put the noose too over the wound, which had served only to increase blood flow to the brain, now muted by the foot on the throat of Ezio. The image was sharp, but the throbbing pain in my throat made him realize just what was happening. And just as promptly responded: he took two hands to the foot of Ezio and imbalance, making the shot go and empty the mafia boss was about to shoot him, then went into the arm bar and forced him to his knees, then with the other foot dealt a blow in the face, causing him to fall. He got up quickly and ran over three half-ruined pile of boxes. Proceeded to untie the tourniquet, but had to do it with one hand because it had to hold the gauze in life, to stop the bleeding. Decided to use the tourniquet to stop the dressing, even if that put pressure on the stomach, already hit by the bullet. At least that guaranteed him a two-handed grip. He took the gun and leaned over. Even Ezio was leaning, so both Western-style made to those who pulled out earlier. Neither won, seeing as both the rival withdrew bet. It was a battle between the masters.

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By Matthew Athanasius, John Munaretto, Corato Alberto and Luca Dal Zovo